Reflections on the suckiest year -- Is it simple?

2016 is finally ending.  Yes, there are a few more days but these final hours blend together.

Finally.

I made a family photo album of our many adventures and milestones in 2016.  We took six trips and had many day long or weekend mini-adventures.  We went to Turks and Caicos, Tucson, Phoenix, Hawaii, Cancun, and New York City.  We drove to Sonoma (twice), Alcatraz, Santa Cruz, and around the Bay Area.

But, we lost this year.  My mom died and I was with her; then went on to manage closing out her estate.  Then we lost my uncle and our old dog.  We had a hive of earthquakes, my son started middle school,  my younger son went on an IEP at school, new thoughtless neighbors moved in, stressful jobs, job changes, and then their was the presidential election...it felt like we were losing and moving backwards.  Unwanted and painful events popped up.  I felt so much of others' pain.  My husband's health suffered with thyroid conditions, viral attacks, hernia surgery.  I started having anxiety attacks.  At times, my world just felt smaller.  So much of it seemed difficult or had just disappeared.

And, so the trips and vacations.  They were fantastic and created memories for our family.  I felt like I owed them to my family and they deserved it.

It would be easy to say 2016 was the suckiest year.  It was in many years.  We've had bad years in our family before.  It's not that simple.  Here's what I learned:

I have one body, one life -- and its up to me to care for it
I love wine and I love dessert.  I love parties -- big and small.  I am also middle-aged with two young boys with no health issues.  It's up to me to start taking better care of this vehicle that's getting me through each day and the brain in it.  Ease up on the sugar and alcohol.  Exercise. Don't let stress build about things or people that just aren't worth it.

Life isn't about productivity and manageability.  It's about creation, reflection.
I had gotten into a rut to make things workable and optimized.  It was my job.  It was my focus at home and in relationships.  So I stopped.  Now its about:  What did I change for the better around me?  What did I contribute or create?  What beauty or idea is here now?

Make love a priority.
Prioritize your partner, kids, parents, family, friends, strangers who need you.  Yes, it can be exhausting.  But stinginess is more exhausting.  And the act of love is exhilarating.

Make time for adventure.
At the beginning of the year, I revisited my bucket list.  Its a December/January thing for me.  There were items that screamed "why wait?".  So, I didn't.  This list changes constantly and it replaces goals or resolutions for me.  I set the experiences and adventures for the year.  In 2016, I doubled up.  We went to Giants spring training and the NYC parade.  I got serious on Instagram.  I started writing again.

For me, bringing adventure to my life keeps me sane and what I look forward to.  I hope its a legacy for my children.  It's part of keeping our world bigger and our bubble thinner.

There is always joy, even in heartbreak.
Joy isn't always laughter and giggles and dancing.  Joy is sometimes realizing weeks later that you did the right thing or made the right decision.  Joy can be a weight lifted.  Joy can be the feeling you are giving your heart completely in that moment.  And, joy can be laughing, dancing, hugging.  It's that simple.

My blog (and Instagram) is "Waking Up in San Francisco".  The title started when I was traveling around the world.  It evolved to the realizations I "wake to".  These five realizations are what I woke to in the suckiest year.  They will shape 2017 -- which will be full of challenges, love, beauty, change, action, and adventure.  It's simple.  And it is not.

Waking Up in Cancun

Good Morning!  Sunrise view from our balcony at Nizuc

A few days after returning from the family trip to New York City, we boarded a plane bound for Mexico.  We had a stay in a beautiful resort in Cancun, the Nizuc Resort and Spa. Three full days of complete relaxation.

Quiet beaches -- aahhh...

We used the time to visit Rio Secreto and hike and swim in the underground caverns, something I have wanted to do for years.  They run a fantastic tour and the day flew by.




As I slept, swam, read, ate, and relaxed, it occurred to me that we treat our minds and bodies to the right everything on vacation (except maybe the tequila).  Why don't we bring some of what we find rejuvenating about a good holiday and vacation into our everyday?

photo courtesy of Rio Secreto

Taking time for Mexican Hot Chocolate --
like nowhere else

My husband loves a good cigar.  He rarely smokes them.  The resort has a jazz and cigar bar and he loves both and we went each night.  I started thinking about how he doesn't smoke cigars or visit our local cigar bar at home.  I can't remember the last time we went to a jazz concert or club.


On vacations, I often read my book first thing in the morning with coffee.  Its a luxury for me.  Why don't I sneak 15 minutes of reading in the morning?

View from Nizuc reception

Besides the beautiful scenery inside and outside of the resort, besides the food and drinks, and the lack of an agenda, my realization from this trip is that our souls need a few minutes of "vacation" in our regularly scheduled days.

Waking up in New York City

Off Bryant Park at Sunrise,
waiting for the Macy's Parade

We hit another one on my bucket list -- New York City over Thanksgiving.  I love the Macy's parade and it was 200% better in person.   As a family, we had so many adventures over five days -- Brooklyn Bridge, High Line, Central Park, Tavern on the Green, 5th Avenue (with a side trip to Dylan's Candy Bar), hot dogs on the street, the best pizza, Times Square, and the list goes on.  Manhattan is a gem in this country, reminding us in a small space of the diversity, opportunities, and challenges among us.

Playing in Central Park

Looking Up On The Brooklyn Bridge

The 9/11 Memorial, Museum, World Trade Center